Before we can begin, we have to get the issue of ethics out on the table. My work will provide practical advice on how to change people’s minds, sometimes getting them to think it was their idea all along. This strikes many people as manipulative or even unethical. It’s time to get over that.
Leadership is a manipulative act. Managers are responsible for getting things done, by getting people to do things that they may not naturally do. Learning new skills, collaborating across functional lines, taking more risk, or putting the group’s objectives ahead of their own self-interest are not natural things to do. They require leadership.
If you’re a parent, you’re in the manipulation business. Getting kids to eat less sugar, work harder on their homework, or to think that smoking cigarettes is a bad idea is what it means to be a good parent.
Persuasion itself isn’t inherently unethical—it’s how it’s used that raises questions. Is a hammer a good thing or a bad thing? A hammer can build a hospital that saves lives, or it can smash a window to rob a store. The same principle applies to interpersonal tools—they are neutral by design; their value lies in how they’re used. Manipulating people for selfish ends or exploiting their emotions or vulnerabilities to push your own agenda is where persuasion crosses the ethical line. When persuasion is used to mislead, coerce, or serve personal gain at the expense of others or the organization, it becomes a tool of harm. However, there is nothing unethical about employing persuasive tools to achieve positive, meaningful outcomes. Guiding others toward healthy decisions, fostering collaboration, or inspiring change for the greater good are ethical uses of persuasion that elevate both individuals and organizations alike. My hope is to give the good guys the tools to make the world a better place, one conversation at a time.
